Sunday, September 13, 2009

That's A Sketch

INT. DINER

JORDAN and DAVE are sitting in a diner.

JORDAN
This 30 comedy sketches in 30 days thing is fun, but it can be hard to think of ideas! I've written 10 or so sketches already and I feel kind of dried up.

DAVE
Nahhhhhhhhhhh, everything could be a sketch idea!

JORDAN
How so?

DAVE
OK, see this ketchup bottle? That's a sketch.

JORDAN
?

DAVE
Like a ketchup bottle can be really angry, ANGRY KETCHUP BOTTLE, that's a sketch.

JORDAN
Maybe.

A WAITER comes over.

WAITER
Hello, are you ready?

DAVE
Yeah I'll have a baked potato.

WAITER
We're out of baked potatoes.

DAVE (whispering to Jordan)
That's a skeeetch

DAVE (continuing)
OK then I'll just have a sandwich.

WAITER
One sandwich. And you?

JORDAN
I'll just have a plate of whatever.

WAITER
Good choice.

The waiter leaves.

JORDAN
I can never decide what to get here. The menu is HUGE.

DAVE
HA! THAT'S A SKETCH. Huge menus, BOOM BOOM, attacking the city! LOOK OUT!

JORDAN
Sure. So how are things at work?

DAVE
Ah well, my boss has been giving me the evil eye since I...WAIT. THAT'S A SKETCH. An evil eye!! ATTACKING THE CITY!! LOOK OUT!!

JORDAN
I don't know. Ugh this water is warm. What the fuck.

DAVE
THAT'S A SKETCH. "Warm Water."

JORDAN
I already wrote a sketch called "Warm Water." It's pretty funny, actually.

DAVE
THAT'S A SKETCH. I keep recommending sketches and you wrote them already!! WAIT...Look out the window, see that old woman picking up after her dog? THAT'S A SKETCH.

JORDAN
Hmm...yeah...I could see that.

DAVE
Yeah see how she has to bend over to pick up the dog shit, and she's old and probably has a bad back.

JORDAN
That's hilarious.

DAVE
And it's like, this is what her long life has come to. And it's really cold outside too.

JORDAN
I'm going to write that up when I get home.

The waiter arrives with the food.

WAITER
There you are...one for you...and plate of whatever for you...

The waiter gave Dave and Jordan the wrong foods.

JORDAN
Oh, excuse me that's my plate.

DAVE
And that's mine.

WAITER
Oh, so sorry.

The waiter attempts to correct the mistake but he drops the plates. Then he slips and falls and tumbles around, eventually landing on top of the table and with food all over him. Everyone in the diner laughs hysterically.

DAVE (serious)
Oh my god, are you OK?

JORDAN
How awful. Maybe we should call an ambulance?

DAVE
THAT'S A SKETCH! Ambulance man, driving around, maybe he's a bad driver!

JORDAN
"Ambulance Man"...That could be a recurring character.



THE END.

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