Sunday, September 20, 2009

Haunted House Ride

EXT. AMUSEMENT PARK

A MOM and her two children, SALLY and JIMMY, are in line for a haunted house ride.

MOM
My goodness these lines take forever!

SALLY
I don't want to go on this ride! I'm scared of ghosts!

JIMMY
There aren't real ghosts! It's just people in costumes!

SALLY
I'm afraid of that too!

MOM
We've been on this line for 45 minutes, WE ARE GOING ON THIS RIDE.

SALLY
But I heard inside there's a man with a chainsaw! I don't like chainsaws!!

JIMMY
A chainsaw!? Is the man going to cut us up, mom?

MOM
Probably not. Hey we're almost next in line!

SALLY
I DON'T WANT TO GO I'M SCARED OF DYING!

MOM
We're all scared of dying, Sally. Just get on the ride.

JIMMY
Yeah, get on the ride!! Don't you want to DIE?!

SALLY
NO!!!

MOM
It's just a ride, you won't die for a very long time. Nobody has died on a haunted house ride.

RIDE OPERATOR
Actually uh, there have been a few casualties throughout the years on this particular ride. Decapitations, suffocations, castrations...

MOM
Oh! And it's still operational?

RIDE OPERATOR
Oh this has been checked out up and down for safety violations. There hasn't been an accident for four months, tops.

MOM
JUST GET ON THE RIDE SALLY! AND JIMMY, PROTECT YOUR SISTER FROM THE CHAINSAW MAN.

The two children get on the ride.

RIDE OPERATOR
Say uh, ain't you gonna get on the ride with the little tykes?

MOM
Oh, what would be the point of that. So...working a haunted house ride must be tough on a big, strong man like yourself...

While the mom flirts, the operator, flustered, pulls the lever and the ride goes off the tracks and falls off a cliff.

CHILDREN
AUGGHH!!!!


THE END.

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