Thursday, September 10, 2009

Coal Mine Sketch

INT. COAL MINE

Workers in a coal mine.

STAN
NICE DAY IN THE COAL MINE, EH FELLAS?

BOB
Yes it is a very nice day, I am happy here in this coal mine.

AARON
Fellow men, let's stop talking because there is IMPORTANT WORK TO DO.

STAN
YES I AGREE, BACK TO WORK!

BOB
Yes let us all go back to work.

The three coal miners all take their helmets off, put on glasses and take out feather pens. They walk over to three little desks and begin writing.

STAN
I HAVE WRITTEN A WONDERFUL LIMERICK, GENTLEMEN.

BOB
I want to hear your limerick.

STAN
AHEM. "I HATE THIS COAL MINE, BOY YES I DO, THIS COAL MINE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE DYING AND KILLING YOU TOO."

AARON
Very good, Stan. BACK TO WORK!!!

The three all write again.

BOB
Now I have written a new limerick.

STAN
JUST AS YOU HEARD MINE, I ANTICIPATE EAGERLY YOURS.

AARON
Yes, let's have it.

BOB
Okay guys. Ahem. "This coal mine makes me sad, because I can never see my family, and I could die at any time, and my fellow coal miners don't understand me."

STAN
HAHAHA, THAT IS A HILARIOUS ONE, BOB MY BOY!

AARON
You are definitely the "class clown", Bob.

BOB
Yeah.

AARON
BACK TO WORK!!

The three all write some more.

AARON
AhhhHA! I have written the best limerick of them all!

STAN
IT WOULD BE MY HONOR TO BE IN THE SAME COAL MINE AS YOU READ IT.

AARON
Ahem. "There were three men in a coal mine, they always came to work on time...

Bob and Stan nod at each other (i.e. he's right!)

AARON
...They wrote limericks all day, then they all passed away, because that's what happens in coal mines."

They all sit there, silent.

BOB
That was a very good limerick but also very upsetting.

STAN
YES I...I...I THINK I'D LIKE TO LEAVE THIS COAL MINE.

AARON
Well first of all, thank you Bob, for complimenting me on my limerick.

Aaron makes disapproving eyes at Stan.

AARON
And Stan...you're fired. GET OUT OF THIS COAL MINE.

STAN
NO...NO!! PLEASE!! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! PLEASE!

AARON
Ahhh OK. You convinced me. You're promoted! You can begin moving in all of your belongings into this coal mine, as you will be our 24 hour a day supervisor.

STAN
THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

BOB
Hey fellow coworkers, I am going to go use the "bathroom." (he does quote marks with his hand)

STAN
DON'T TAKE TOO LONG, BOB!

AARON
Ahaha! There's our new supervisor, already with the iron fist!

BOB
....Ha.

Bob walks off. He addresses the audience.

BOB
Hi everyone. I'm Bob, from the Coal Mine Sketch. Coal mining is no joke. So for those of you who managed to laugh at this comedy sketch, please don't. And for the rest of you -- very perceptive. You should all be commended for your noble refusal to laugh or take any enjoyment out of this amusing scenario whatsoever. There are Hershey's Kisses for you in a bowl on the way out. Thanks.


THE END.

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