Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Barber Shop Duet

INT. BARBER SHOP.

MURRIO, an older barber, is cutting the hair of TOM.

MURRIO
Tom Tom Tom, look at all your hair!

TOM
Yeah, I am. I see it right there in the mirror!

MURRIO
Yes, that is why we had the mirrors installed. My horrible wife, she tells me 'YOU BETTER PUT MIRRORS IN THE SHOP', for years and years, and you know what? The woman was right. So NOW...All mirrors. All over. Like a...fucking fun house.

TOM
It's great, Murrio. Great. So what's on the menu for today?

MURRIO
For you? For today? For right now? I am thinking all your hair --- ZZFFT -- Off.

TOM
You want to shave me bald? Well, you're the expert!

Murrio shaves Tom's head bald in about 2 seconds.

TOM
That's great, Murrio. Great. How much do I owe you?

MURRIO
You? Owe? You?

TOM
---

MURRIO (solemnly)
25 dollars.

Tom pays Murrio 25 dollars.

MURRIO
American dollars.

TOM
Those are American dollars.

MURRIO (stuttering, shocked)
American dollars are not green with...with...faces of these older presidential people on them!

TOM
Yes they are.

MURRIO (throwing his money to the ground)
BAH! YOU INSULT ME, THOMAS. GET OUT. Geeeeet OUT!!

TOM
Well then I want my hair back!

MURRIO (pulls wig out of his pocket, throws it at Tom)
TAKE IT BACK!! You will never make my Wall-Of-Hair!! NEVER!!!

TOM (awkwardly putting hair on head)
See you next week, Murrio.

MURRIO (sing songy)
BYE BYE BYE!


-Jordan

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