Friend Fight

Two friends, MATT and DAVE, storm in, in the midst of an intense argument.

MATT
I oughtta PUNCH YOU in the fucking FACE, man.

DAVE
Oh well why don't you fucking DO IT then?

MATT
I WANT to fucking do it.

DAVE
Well my face is RIGHT HERE, waiting.

Matt wants to, but hesitates.

DAVE
HA SEE, you're not a violent guy, you can't do it! YOU'RE A FUCKING TEDDY BEAR.

MATT
Ergghh. You know what I'm gonna do?

DAVE
WHAT.

MATT
I'm going to draw a picture of your face...

Matt takes out a paper and crayon. He draws a dumb looking cartoon of Dave.

MATT
...And put it up on this wall here...

Matt puts the drawing on the wall.

MATT
And I'm going to PUNCH THAT.

DAVE
Oh yeah, right, you wouldn't even do THAT.

MATT
NO. I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna do it!

Matt lunges at the picture but stops before he punches it. The silly picture he drew is staring back at him. He happened to draw a cartoon Dave looking very happy and friendly, like a smiley face.

DAVE
HA. You can't even punch a cartoon!

MATT
YEAH I CAN. ARGGHH!

Matt lunges at the picture again but can't punch it.

DAVE
Here. I am going to PAY YOU money to punch that picture of me.

MATT
FINE. GIVE ME MONEY.

Dave hands him some money. Matt lunges at the picture but instead of punching it he leans in and gives it a little kiss on the cheek. There is a long emotional silence. They both stand there awkwardly.

DAVE
I...Look...why don't you take that picture down and we can go get some ice cream or something.

MATT (out of breath)
OK...That's a good idea. Let's get ice cream. It's funny, I don't even remember what we were fighting about.

DAVE
Yeah, me neither. I'm sure it was my fault anyway.

MATT
No no, it was probably me being all silly.

DAVE
You go save us a seat at the ice cream place, I'll be right there.

MATT
Sure thing, friend.

Matt walks off. Dave takes out a drawing he made (at some point) of Matt. He kisses it and addresses the audience. He puts a on a clip-on necktie.

DAVE
Some things are worth fighting for...but friends aren't worth fighting. Goodnight.



THE END.