Monday, September 14, 2009

Sleep Is Fun

INT. SLEEPY'S MATTRESS STORE

SALESMAN
And so you see, the Bed 5000 is the ultimate future in sleep and bed related activities

CUSTOMER
I see, I see. Do you mind if I give it a whirl?

SALESMAN
Sure thing! Would you like a glass of warm milk?

CUSTOMER
Sure!

Salesman gives customer milk.

SALESMAN
How about a teddy bear?

CUSTOMER
How about two?

Salesman takes two teddy bears out of a file cabinet and gives to customer. The customer takes off his shirt and pants and gets into the bed.

CUSTOMER
Mommy?

SALESMAN (pretending to be mommy)
Yes, honey?

CUSTOMER
Can you read me a story?

SALESMAN
Sure baby.

Salesman takes out a book.

SALESMAN
Once upon a time, there were three bears...

Customer starts crying.

SALESMAN
What? What?

CUSTOMER
I DON'T LIKE THE BEARS!! THEY'RE SCARY!!!!

SALESMAN
Nooo, these are nice bears!

CUSTOMERS
THE BEARS WANT TO EAT ME!! WAAHHHHHHH!!!

The salesman waits.

SALESMAN
So sir, how did you find our Bed 5000?

CUSTOMER
Hmm, very nice, very nice. Comfortable...good support for my back but not too firm. The blanket was a bit heavy.

SALESMAN
Well that can all be customized to your liking.

CUSTOMER
I'm not sure what I thought of the tube though.

SALESMAN
The tube?

CUSTOMER
Yes, the tube that was going into my...well, my...ass?

SALESMAN
Well without the tube the Bed 5000 wouldn't be the Bed 5000. It would be...well...just your run of the mill bed! I mean, it's 2009, sir. You don't still use VHS do you?

CUSTOMER
Hmm. You have a point. I'll take it. And can I get a 2nd tube installed for my wife?

SALESMAN
We can throw in 2 tubes for her!

CUSTOMER
She is going to love this! Happy anniversary to us!



THE END

*Thanks to Matt Koff for the title and for participating in the "Write a sketch in 5 minutes" challenge with me!

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