Friday, September 04, 2009

Everyone Eat The Cookies

MATT and DAVE come out on stage. They are carrying big sacks with them. They began to sing each line in a "na na na na na-na" taunting melody and bad German accents. They are also kind of zombie like and slow paced.

MATT/DAVE
Everyone eat ze cookies

They walk around slowly, then towards the audience

MATT/DAVE
Everyone eat ze cookies.

They take cookies out of their sacks and pass them around the audience

MATT/DAVE
Everyone eat ze cooookies.

They both go to opposite ends of the room and lean their head on the wall, with their faces smushed into the wall, depressed, waiting for the audience to eat cookies. This goes on for 10 seconds or so. They stop and then they take out cartons of milk and paper cups.

MATT/DAVE
Everyone drink your milk.

They pour milk in a cup and hand it to one or two audience members.

MATT/DAVE
Everyone drink your milk.

They do the head on the wall thing again. They take out toothbrushes and pass them to the audience.

MATT/DAVE
Everyone brush your teeth.

They pace around, waiting, since probably the audience won't do it.

MATT/DAVE (sounding more annoyed)
Everyone brush your teeth.

Heads on the wall for a while. They take out pillows and lie down on the floor.

MATT/DAVE
Everyone go to sleep.

MATT/DAVE (falling asleep, sounding more tired)
Everyone go to sleeeep.

::BLACK OUT:: Matt and Dave run off stage. Sketch over.

Audience (um, hopefully) applauds, thinking the sketch is over.

LIGHTS UP. Matt and Dave return, slower and weirder than ever.

MATT/DAVE
Everyone wake up.
Everyone wake up.
Everyone wake up.

MATT
Rise and shine

DAVE
Rise and shine.

MATT/DAVE
Everyone brush your teeth again.

They again hand out (new) toothbrushes. At this point the audience should be getting tired of the sketch. So it will end here.

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