Saturday, September 19, 2009

Ben's Castle

INT. CASTLE

BEN and JERRY are walking into Ben's new castle.

BEN
So this is my new place!

JERRY
Wow, a castle! I mean...wow. A CASTLE!

BEN
Yep, my own castle! Wanna see something cool?

Ben pulls a lever on the side of the wall. Crocodiles on strings hang down from the ceiling.

JERRY
WOW!!!!

BEN
Yeah, in case someone is giving me trouble, KA-JINK, this lever goes down and the crocodiles bite their head off.

JERRY
So do you have to like, feed them?

BEN
I dunno. Hey, check this out.

Ben takes his pants and underwear off.

JERRY
What the fuck?

Ben goes to a hole in the castle wall and starts having sex with it.

BEN
It's got a fuck hole!!!

JERRY
A fuck hole!?

BEN
Yeah, man! These old castles are full of them!

JERRY
You sure that's not just like...a hole? A regular old hole, like from the granite decaying?

BEN
No man! It's a fuck hole! Read your Shakespeare!

JERRY
I really don't want to watch you doing this. Why don't you show me the library or something? You said they had a huge crazy library...

BEN
Oh OK, sure. The library has some REALLY tight fuck holes.

JERRY
Ugh no, no more fuck holes! When you told me you moved into a castle I thought there would be all these cool secret passageways and stuff.

BEN
Well, in a way, these fuck holes ARE secret passageways.

JERRY
Look, I gotta head out. Meet me outside by the moat when you're done.

BEN
Just don't drink the water! You know where all these fuck holes drain into, right?

JERRY
Blurghghgh.


THE END.

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