Salsa Jar

EXT. OUTSIDE A HOUSE

A WOMAN throws a salsa jar at A MAN. They are clearly having a fight.

WOMAN
And you can take your stupid salsa jar back!

The salsa jar hits the man in the chest. He looks down at it. Then picks it up off the ground, and dusts it off.

MAN
Thank goodness.

He reaches into his front shirt pocket and pulls out some big tortilla chips. He dips them into the salsa jar and eats them.

MAN
Mmmm, too good. TOO GOOD.

He sits on the front lawn with his chips and salsa. He pulls a Coke out of his pants and drinks it.

MAN
I've got everything I need right here. YOU HEAR ME MARGO? I'VE GOT EVERYTHING I NEED RIGHT HERE.

The man puts a hat on. Then he takes the hat off and he has a plate of mashed potatoes under it. Then he reaches into his shirt collar and pulls out a salt shaker and salts the potatoes. He eats them.

MAN
Too good. Well, time for dessert.

The man takes his shoes off and sprinkles Hershey's Kisses from them into his mouth (not bothering to unwrap them.) Then he takes his sock off and holds it over his mouth and milk pours out of it.

The man gets up and leaves.

CUT TO: Inside the house, the woman (Margo) is sitting on the couch, crying, tissues all around her, etc. She has a cat on her lap. She holds the cat up to her face and reaches into it's mouth, and pulls out a chicken leg. She eats it, crying.

FADE OUT.